


Hands Down (Best Day)

by blinking_post



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Brief appearances by Taeyang & Daesung, Domestic, Fluff and Smut, Growing Old Together, Horny Teenagers, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, teenagers in love, they're still famous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-03 22:09:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6628573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blinking_post/pseuds/blinking_post
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>So Seunghyun has a bit of a buzz going, beer number whatever the fuck, who cares anyhow in one hand when the door opens and in walks Jiyong attached to this adorable little kid.  Well, teen, really.  “Kid” is a bit of an exaggeration even if he’s clearly younger than the rest of them.  Fifteen?  Sixteen at the most, he’d wager. Time stops.  No joke. Time fucking stops and his breath catches in his throat because all he can see is that kid.  Is this what love at first sight is?</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hands Down (Best Day)

**Author's Note:**

> A _huge_ thank you to [alchemicink](http://archiveofourown.org/users/alchemicink/pseuds/alchemicink). Without her I don't think this would have been written at all. She gave me lots and lots of encouragement and held my hand through all my mental breakdowns =).
> 
> Why, yes, title is inspired by Dashboard Confessional's Hands Down, how'd you guess? Did I out my age? LOL. Actually, this fic was originally meant to be nothing more than two horny teenagers who are crazy about each other because I wanted to write a topri as stupid teens wanting to get some...and then it turned into this monster of a domestic fluff thing. Don't ask me how. It happened, I'm not too sure either. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy =)

\----

 

So Seunghyun has a bit of a buzz going, beer number whatever the fuck, who cares anyhow in one hand when the door opens and in walks Jiyong attached to this adorable little kid.  Well, teen, really.  “Kid” is a bit of an exaggeration even if he’s clearly younger than the rest of them.  Fifteen?  Sixteen at the most, he’d wager. Time stops.  No joke. Time fucking stops and his breath catches in his throat because all he can see is that kid.  Is this what love at first sight is?

 

He sets his beer down somewhere (coffee table?), abandons the people around him mid-conversation, jumps over the couch in one smooth motion and in two steps he’s in front of them.

 

“Hyung!” Jiyong exclaims in surprise.

 

Seunghyun ignores him.  “Hey,” he says, crowding into the kid’s space instead.  “I’m Seunghyun.”

 

The kid looks up at him with wide, seemingly innocent eyes.  “Really?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

The kid laughs, mouth wide and open and joyous.  “I’m Seunghyun, too.”

 

A grin splits Seunghyun’s face.  “Must be fate.”

 

“Maybe.”  Teasing.  Flirtatious.  Seunghyun is gone.  Head over heels.  Finished.  This is it for him.

 

They’re grinning at each other and Seunghyun’s trying to keep a lid on all that excitement bubbling in the pit of his stomach.  It feels like magic.  If he could bottle it up and sell it, he’d never want for anything again.  Jiyong takes that exact moment to push him so he falls back a step, breaking whatever moment he was sharing with little Seunghyun.

 

“Come on, Seungri,” he says, nickname Seunghyun guesses, before taking Seungri by the arm and dragging him towards Daesung and Youngbae.  “Top-hyung is a player,” he ends with as he shoots Seunghyun the evil eye.

 

“Lies!  Slander!” he shouts after them all the while doing nothing to contain the silly grin on his face.  Seungri turns around and gives him a silly grin of his own.

 

Fuck.

 

He’s in love.

 

\----

 

Seunghyun is innocently on his way down the upstairs hallway to use the bathroom when Jiyong cuts right in front of him, arms crossed over his chest, imposing and intimidating even with such a slight frame.  “No.”

 

“No?” he echoes back, making a play for innocent.

 

“Hyung, I mean it.  No.”

 

His buzz is still there and it makes him loose and giggly.  He throws a hand onto Jiyong’s shoulder and squeezes.  “Jiyong-ah, I’m just going to use the bathroom.”

 

Jiyong huffs at him in return.  “You can wait until Seungri is done then.  Only one person can use the bathroom at a time anyhow.”

 

He tries for wide, imploring eyes.  “Seungri’s in the bathroom?”

 

Jiyong is not impressed.  He sees right through Seunghyun’s lie.  Seunghyun’s been watching Seungri all night, waiting for an opportunity to swoop in.  He just wants to talk, wants them to get to know each other, but Jiyong is relentless in his effort to keep the two of them apart.

 

He pokes Seunghun with his index finger, stepping forward and forcing Seunghyun back.  “ _No_.  He’s a good kid and we really like him.  I want him in the band.  _You_ are not going to mess that up.”

 

Seunghyun cracks up.  “Jiyong-ah, I like him too!”

 

They hear the bathroom door creak open at the end of the hallway, light seeping through the darkness as Seungri opens the door.  Jiyong gives him one last, hard look.  “No,” he repeats again, and then Seungri is grinning next to them.

 

“What’s up?” he asks, shoulders bunched up and the tips of fingers in his pockets.  Jesus.  He’s adorable.

 

“Nothing,” Jiyong says, cutting Seunghyun off before he has a chance to say anything.  “Let’s go back to Youngbae.”  Jiyong hooks their arms and then he’s dragging Seungri away again.

 

Seunghyun stands still, unmoving as the two of them slide right on by but breaks out into a grin when, in passing, bodies almost grazing in the tight space, Seungri slips a finger underneath his t-shirt, the pad of his index finger riding along the skin where his jeans end and skin begins, leaving a trail of hot fire in its path.  He looks up at Seunghyun through his long lashes with coy eyes, an almost smirk on the corners of his lips, and then he’s gone, still arm in arm with Jiyong.

 

He is floored, left breathless in the middle of the hallway.

 

Shit.

 

He’s definitely in love.

 

\----

 

The sound of metal scraping against metal as the door slides open and closed means someone’s joining him out on the patio.  The night air is cool enough that he kind of wants a hoodie but warm enough that he can go without, so instead of heading back inside to grab said hoodie, draped over a chair somewhere in the kitchen if he’s remembering correctly, he sucks in a drag of his cigarette, the nicotine a rush that makes him feel calm enough so that when the person turns around and it clicks that it’s Seungri, he hardly reacts at all.

 

“Hey,” he says after exhaling, wispy white smoke escaping through his lips.

 

“Hey,” Seungri says in return, a sense of urgency in his words as he takes quick, deliberate strides towards Seunghyun, closing the distance between them as soon as possible without outright running.  Seunghyun barely has time to think much less say anything else before lips are pressed against his, two hands buried in his hair, Seungri on his toes and crowding into Seunghyun’s space.  Seungri aims to claim if the kiss is anything to go by.  Not that he’s complaining by any means.

 

The kiss is filthy and messy, a hot tongue working his mouth open, curling onto the roof of his mouth to explore when Seunghyun finally, _finally,_ lets him in.  Jesus can Seungri kiss.  His knees are weak as he lets out a moan he hadn’t realize he was holding in.  The cigarette drops to the ground, abandoned, as he grips Seungri’s hips and pulls him in until they’re flushed against each other.  As quick as it began Seungri pulls away again, Seunghyun jerking forward to chase his mouth.  Seungri lets out a short laugh but he hardly cares when he manages to catch Seungri’s lips again.  Seungri opens up for him and this time is just as filthy, just as hot and messy. He walks Seunghyun back until he hits the side of the house, keeps him there, hand sliding down his chest and over his thudding heartbeat, down to the band of his jeans as he sinks down to his knees right there, in the open, a thin wall separating them from the people drinking and laughing not even five feet away.

 

He looks up at Seunghyun with wide, doe-like eyes, lips slightly parted, and it’s the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.  His breath hitches in anticipation, fingers tangled in Seungri’s hair, waiting for Seungri to do something, anything, and then he watches in slow motion as Seungri leans in, eyes sliding shut until they’re nothing more than slits, to plant a kiss on the front of his jeans, chaste and so light against his dick he hardly felt anything over his jeans.  It’s the hottest thing he’s ever experienced, makes him want to beg and plead and say _please, please please please let me into that pretty mouth of yours_.

 

But as sudden as it began Seungri is gone, halfway back to the door in a blink of an eye, Seunghyun left hard and speechless and driven crazy with his hands still in the air.  Seungri stops at the door, one hand on the handle.  Before he slides it open, he turns to Seunghyun and says with a shrug, “Call me,” so casually no one else would have known that just mere moments ago he was on his knees in front of Seunghyun, mouth parted and pupils dilated.  And then he was gone.

 

Seunghyun groans, head thumping against the wall behind him.  Like hell he wasn’t going to call Seungri.  He’s going to call as soon as he can.  That thought drags him back to reality.  Call him how?  No way in hell is Jiyong going to give him Seungri’s number and if Jiyong isn’t, neither is Youngbae.  Seunghyun is sure Jiyong has already warned Youngbae against doing so.

 

The light flickers above his head and he thinks _fuck._  He runs inside, chases after Seungri not even two minutes later but he’s gone.  Jiyong is nowhere in sight either.

 

Double fuck.

 

He’s missed his chance.

 

Two seconds later, right after he’s done mentally kicking himself, he breaks out into a huge grin as he pulls out a hastily ripped, crumpled piece of paper with a phone number on it.  It’s Seungri’s.  It has to be.  Seunghyun doesn’t even know how he did it and he doesn’t fucking care because right now he can conquer the world with how fucking invincible he feels.

 

He puffs his chest, proud of himself, and thinks, “Take that Kwon Jiyong.”

 

\----

 

Seunghyun is hardly breathing as he watches Seungri sink down onto him one slow centimeter at a time, enraptured, light-headed and dizzy as all the air gets knocked out of him.  He can’t tear his eyes away from where his dick is breaching Seungri who is so hot and so tight, muscles spasming and clenching around him, swallowing him whole.  The only thing keeping him grounded to reality is the way Seungri’s nails bite his shoulders through his shirt.  Finally, Seungri bottoms out, fully seated in Seunghyun’s lap, round ass flat against his thighs as he presses his forehead against Seunghyun’s.

 

“Jesus,” he hisses out, their eyes connecting.  He feels the puff of hot air against his mouth as Seungri lets out a shaky breath and then he breaks out into a smile brilliant enough to knock Seunghyun down if he wasn’t already sitting.

 

“You okay?” He asks, his voice hoarse and raw, strained.  He wants to move, wants to hold Seungri in place as he fucks up into him but this has been Seungri’s show from the get go, from the moment he had coquettishly grinned at Seunghyun before tugging them both into the backseat of Seunghyun’s friend’s car.

 

And then everything happened too fast and too slow all at once after Seungri had climbed on top of him, legs on either side of this thighs.  The kisses, deep and frantic, the groping, hands everywhere, the tugging Seungri’s shirt open so he could get his hands on skin.  Seungri had moaned, low and wanton when he scraped a nail against his nipple and then he had gasped when Seunghyun sucked it into his mouth, tongue circling it once, twice, teasing, before he bit down.  Seungri had jerked in his lap, ass grinding against his dick once before he pulled back, Seunghyun chasing after him but to no avail.  Seungri had tugged his jeans off then, dragging his underwear along with them.  Next thing he knew he was three fingers deep in Seungri, watching the boy keen as he drove his fingers in, hard and relentless, Seungri writhing onto them as he searched for more.  The fingers weren’t enough.  They weren’t nearly enough at all.  They hastily undid Seunghyun’s belt together, tugged his own jeans and underwear off just enough to reveal his achingly hard dick, and then Seungri was sinking down, down, down and he just stared, enraptured, barely able to breathe, thinking, “Fuck fuck fuck don’t come.  Don’t fucking come,” as his fingers gripped Seungri’s hips.

 

Now that Seungri has caught his own breath, he continues to steal Seunghyun’s.  He kisses Seunghyun slow and languid, teasing, deliberately driving Seunghyun to the edge of sanity as he rides Seunghyun even slower.  He drags himself up until just the head is still inside.  He hovers, grinning down at Seunghyun, waiting until Seunghyun is about to say fuck it and force him back down so that he can be inside that tight heat once more.  Seungri’s muscles are pulled tight, taut underneath his touch, and just when he’s about to give in, Seungri sinks down, agonizingly slow as he pushes all the air out of Seunghyun’s lungs.

 

This goes on again and again and again until he can’t.  He just can’t anymore.  “Please,” he hears himself beg.  “Please.  God, let me fuck you.”  
  
Seungri’s laugh is a twinkle against the side of his neck.  “Not God,” he says, a touch of teasing tinged in his words.  “Just Seungri.”

 

He ignores the quip.  It hardly matters in the moment.  He pleads.  “Please, don’t tease me.”

 

He can feel Seungri’s smile pressed into the side of his neck as he slowly grinds down, hips rolling in Seunghyun’s lap.  “Tell me that you’re mine,” he whispers into Seunghyun’s ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

 

“I’m yours,” he says without hesitation and God, is that his voice?  That wrecked little thing?

 

“Say it one more time.”

 

“I’m yours, Seungri.  I’m _yours_ .”  God, it _is_ him.  

 

Seungri falls back, feet now propped up on the back seats instead of tucked under his thighs, upper arms braced against the seats in front.  Seunghyun has no idea what he’s doing, has no fucking clue why he stopped at all until Seungri, beautiful, gorgeous, Seungri with his blue button down undone, half falling off his shoulders to reveal a well-toned, lean stomach, all lithe muscles, tells him to go for it.

 

He doesn’t waste one second.  He holds Seungri in place, fingers digging into his hips again.  He knows they’ll bruise but doesn’t fucking care because he’s completely consumed by only one thing.  He fucks into Seungri one quick, hard thrust at a time, watching the boy’s mouth become slack with pleasure, eyes rolling into the back of his head before it falls back to reveal his long pale neck.  Seunghyun keeps fucking into him, unable to stop, unwilling to do so.  Seungri lets out the prettiest cries, sharp high pitched notes that drive Seunghyun crazy, makes him want to fuck into Seungri deeper and deeper and deeper until he can’t tell where one of them ends and the other begins.

 

He doesn’t know how much time passes, doesn’t really care because there’s nothing he wants to do but this, when he hears a strangled, “Make me come.”  It’s Seungri’s turn now, to beg  “Please please please,” he chants, broken.  “Make me come.  I want to come.  I need to come.  Make me come.  Babe, make me come.”

 

It’s the “babe” that has his resolve to drive Seungri insane crumbling down.   _Babe_.  Nicknames are silly but fucking Christ, coming from Seungri it sounds like a claim like he’s saying Seunghyun is his.  And he is.  Fuck.  Seungri has him wrapped around his finger and their first date isn’t even over yet.  The scary thing is he doesn’t even fucking mind.

 

He circles one hand around Seungri’s neglected cock and starts tugging, feels it throb in his palm.  Seungri propels himself forward, falls into Seunghyun’s arm, hands braced on Seunghyun’s shoulder, and he starts fucking himself onto Seunghyun’s dick, earnestly meeting Seunghyun thrust for thrust, mouth open in a silent scream, jaw slacked.  Seunghyun moves in, clumsily connects their lips, and then thrusts his tongue inside that slick, hot mouth.  Seungri’s hands ride the length of his neck and into his hair, fingers fisting and tugging and then Seunghyun bites his bottom lip, intuition, not enough to draw blood but enough for Seungri to feel a sharp sting, and that’s what sets him off, has him screaming into Seunghyun’s mouth as he comes and comes, cum splattering between them, staining his shirt and Seungri’s stomach, muscles clenched tight around Seunghyun.

 

He holds on for dear life, his other arm wrapped around the small of Seungri’s back as he keeps going, keeps fucking Seungri through the orgasm because Seungri might be done but he isn’t.  Seungri falls back onto the front seats and watches Seunghyun through the slits of his eyes, silly, happy, satisfied grin plastered on his face as, pliant, wanting to be used, he lets Seunghyun fuck him and fuck him and fuck him to his heart’s content, until he can’t see anything but Seungri, can’t think about anything but Seungri, until his balls draw in tight and then he bursts, vision whiting out as he tosses his head back, coating Seungri’s inside with his cum, marking him.  His.  Seungri is _his_.

 

They’re both silent, Seungri drinking in the moment, watching, waiting, Seunghyun trying to catch his breath.  When he’s able to look at Seungri again Seungri says to him, a touch of a smile at the corners of his mouth, “Say it one more time.”

 

Seunghyun doesn’t hesitate this time either.  He tugs Seungri back to him, fingers spread out on the small of his back.  Seungri grins down at him and he grins up before he surges forward, stopping only when they’re lips are a hair’s breadth.  He says, breath ghosting against Seungri’s mouth, “I’m yours,” before he seals Seungri’s lips with his.  Seungri smiles into the kiss and he can’t help but smile back.

 

\----

 

They’re falling all over each other between the car and Seungri’s home.  It’s half past two in the morning, the streets are wet, and the house is quiet and pitched black, no light turned on in sight.  Seungri motions for him to be quiet with a finger over his mouth, but he’s failing to keep his own giggles in.  Seunghyun covers his mouth with his and they giggle through that too.  They swing around the side of the house attached at the lips, Seungri’s hands on his shoulders and his own on Seungri’s hips as they maneuver, Seungri walking backwards, Seunghyun trying his damnedest to steer them right.

 

They stop in front of Seungri’s bedroom window and break apart when a noise from inside and a light turning on startle them.  Seungri grins up at him, all uncontained joy and happiness, and he grins down and can’t resist kissing Seungri again, chaste this time because he doesn’t want to get caught.  They wait for the light to go off again and all to be quiet before he jimmies Seungri’s window open.  He helps Seungri up onto the sill and watches him climb over, waits for him to turn around so that they’re face to face again.  He leans in, elbows on the sill.  Seungri mirrors him.

 

“Good night,” he says.

 

“Good night,” Seungri echoes and then kisses Seunghyun like he means it.  The kiss deepens, turns frantic and heated.  He climbs over the sill while Seungri impatiently tugs his hoodie off.

 

\----

 

Jiyong doesn’t talk to him for days.

 

He follows after the younger boy like a lost puppy asking for forgiveness and affection but Jiyong doesn’t budge.  He hugs Youngbae, drapes an arm around his shoulders from behind in a half-hug, he pinches Seungri’s cheeks and calls him cute and laughs with Daesung but with Seunghyun he slides his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose, crosses his arms over his chest, and pretends he doesn’t hear a word Seunghyun is saying even when it’s just the two of them.

 

It takes a chocolate covered donut for Jiyong to even give him a second glance.  Jiyong is watching the rest of the band practice, Youngbae at the drums, Daesung at keyboard and Seungri center stage crooning in that sweet voice of his.  It’s a little throaty today, raw with a hint of gravel because not even an hour ago they were hidden in the closet, Seungri on his knees, mouth wrapped around Seunghyun and sucking him down his throat so prettily.

 

Okay.  Focus.  He’s trying to get back on Jiyong’s good side.  Getting hard while trying to apologize isn’t going to end well for him.

 

Finally, on the defensive, Jiyong speaks.  “What is this?” He asks, suspicious even as the takes the small plate the donut is on.  He doesn’t touch it, does nothing more than just stare at it.

 

“I’m sorry,” he offers up, hopeful.

 

Jiyong tenses, his nose flaring in anger.  “You shouldn’t have to be sorry in the first place.  I told you, ‘No,’ but ignored me anyway.”

 

“I like him,” Seunghyun says, low and quiet, simple.  “I really like him.”

 

Jiyong explodes.  “You always really like them!  You remember Hyunseung?  I asked you not to then too but you said you really liked him so I said okay.  How long did that last?  A month?  It sure as hell didn’t make it to two months.  He practically ran away crying!  He wouldn’t come back.  I found Seungri, okay?  I like him.  We all like him.  I think he’d be great as the lead singer and you’re going to fuck that all up again because you can’t keep it in your pants.”  
  
The words cut deeper than Jiyong probably means to, but he stands there motionless, shocked and hurt and unable to do anything but look at his feet.  It’s not like the words were untrue.  But it’s different.  With Seungri, it’s different.  Hyunseung had been cute at first, was still cute until the end too, but he had been meek, soft-spoken, hiding behind his carefully crafted mask of blank expression and Seunghyun couldn’t do it.  He couldn’t do the constant worrying about whether or not Hyunseung actually liked him back.

 

All of Seungri’s emotions are written on his face.  When he’s happy.  When he’s sad.  When he’s upset.  When he’s feeling silly or bold or when he’s horny because Seunghyun had done that thing with his hand.  He was never able to explain it properly but Seunghyun didn’t care because looking at Seungri’s face he can tell how much the other boy actually likes him back.

 

He doesn’t know how to say that to Jiyong without spilling his guts.  All he _can_ say is, “It’s different this time.”

 

“It’s always different,” Jiyong shoots back.  He tosses the donut onto the table next to them and stalks away.

 

His neck prickles from the three sets of eyes now trained on him.  There’s no hoping they didn’t hear.  Jiyong was practically shouting the whole time, expressing his frustrations through the loudness of his voice.  He looks back at them.  Youngbae won’t meet his eyes, twirling his drumstick between his fingers.  Daesung looks up towards the ceiling.  Seungri focuses straight at him though, eyes set with determination.  He marches towards Seunghyun, curls his fingers on the back of Seunghyun’s neck when he’s close enough and tugs him down until their lips meet, claiming Seunghyun out in the open, splitting his mouth open with his tongue as he delves in.  Seunghyun goes with it, let’s Seungri overwhelm him like he always does.

 

When he pulls back, breaking the kiss, Seungri says harshly against his mouth, their foreheads pressed tight together, “I don’t care.  I don’t care who this Hyunseung was or what happened or whoever came before.  I care about you and if you say it’s different, I believe you.”

 

Seunghyun feels his chest tighten, squeezing the air out of his lungs.  “I will never leave you,” he promises.  He doesn’t even think about it, doesn’t think he ever could at this point.

 

\----

 

“You’re my best friend,” is the first thing he says when he finds Jiyong on the roof.  He sits down next to his friend, bumping his shoulder.

 

“I know,” Jiyong answers.

 

“I wouldn’t do anything deliberately to upset you.”

 

“I know that too.”

 

Seunghyun offers him the same donut he threw away before.  Jiyong takes it.  A weight falls of his shoulders when Jiyong takes his first bite, albeit a little too ferociously but he finishes the donut all the same.

 

\----

 

Jiyong lets out a little surprised, “Ah,” in the middle of band practice, halting everyone mid-song.

 

“What is it?” Daesung asks.

 

Jiyong turns to Seunghyun in awe and says, “You guys have been together for like six months now.”

 

Seunghyun breaks out a grin.  “Yep,” he says in return.

 

“This is the longest relationship you’ve been in.”

 

Seunghyun puffs up his chest, grin still plastered on his face.  “Yep.”

 

Everyone else rolls their eyes, Seungri especially.  God does Seunghyun loves him.

 

\----

 

Everyone, himself included, gets scared when at nine months they hit a rough patch. The band is just starting to make a name for itself, starting to gather followers in Hongdae and Itaewon after playing in one small venue after the other.  Jiyong is stressed, he wants them to make it big, wants to take the band to a national level and he wants to make it happen soon because he can taste it on the tip of his tongue.  Jiyong is stressed so Youngbae is stressed, and when the both of them are stressed and working everyone to the bone one rehearsal after another, they are all stressed.  Seungri and Seunghyun are hitting the point where they either make it or break it and it’s looking like they’re going to break.  They both get irritated with each other so easily now, careless words said that cut just an inch too deep.

 

He hides himself in a bathroom stall before one of their shows, lid of the toilet seat down, knees drawn in tight against his chest.  Seungri didn’t mean what he said, he’s sure, but at the rate they’re going he doesn’t see how they’re ever going to get back to a good place.  That’s what has him hiding before the show, ugly crying in a bathroom stall as he gasps and hyperventilates, wiping the tears away angrily.  He’s never loved anyone the way he loves Seungri before and he doesn’t want to love anyone after but it feels like they’re beginning to end, winding down and he doesn’t want that.  God, please. No.  Don’t let it happen.

 

His heart aches in his chest, squeezing painfully tight, one dull thud after another.  Five minutes later he’s able to calm himself down enough, able to hide the pain so that no one but his band members are able to see.  He splashes cold water on his face but his eyes are still rimmed red.  It’s so obvious he’s been crying even in the shitty light.  He can only hope no one says anything, least of all Seungri.  Really, he can’t take another round of cruel words.

 

Another five minutes and he’ll probably look okay.  No such luck though because Seungri walks in then.  He freezes as the door swings shut behind him.  They stare at each other for a beat, something indecipherable in his eyes and then Seungri’s invading his space in a heartbeat to kiss him and kiss him, to break away long enough to breathe out a, “Hyung, I’m sorry I’m such a dick.  I fucking love you, okay?  I _love_ you.  You’re mine, okay?  Don’t forget that.  You’re mine,” before sealing their lips together again.

 

It gets better after that.  When the pressure of the band starts to get too much, they tell Jiyong to fuck off and disappear for days just to piss him off.

 

\----

 

Seungri, tie loosened, the top two buttons of his shirt undone, climbs on top of Seunghyun to straddle his thighs as he runs his fingers through Seunghyun’s hair.  He should have known.  Seungri would be able to find him anywhere, especially on the roof of their school.  Well, Seungri’s school now he supposes.  Hopefully.

 

“How does it feel it feel now that you’ve graduated?” He asks, blunt nails soothing against his scalp as he massages Seunghyun’s head.  
  
Seunghyun shrugs while letting his head fall back, eyes closed.  “Feels about the same.”

 

“Well, that’s disappointing.”

 

A smile sneaks out, spreads softly across his face.  “Sorry.”

 

“Whatever, can’t be helped.  You know what _can_ be helped?”

 

He makes a show of thinking it over, head cocked to one side.  “Hmmm… My present?”

 

Seungri nods eagerly and grins down at him.  “Your present,” he confirms.  “So, what would you like?  Maybe...” He trails off, eyes turning into devious slits, a smirk at the corners of his mouth as he runs a finger down the side of Seunghyun’s neck, along the collar of his shirt, stopping on top of his tie and loosening it with one quick tug.

 

He leans up to capture Seungri in a kiss, slow and lazy, unhurried.  Seungri likes it rough, likes it fast and hard and on the verge of being painful.  Seunghyun likes that too, craves it most times but once in awhile he wants it slow, wants to be able to drink everything in.  The way Seungri bites his lips when he’s frustrated.  The pretty sounds he makes when Seunghyun hits his prostate over and over and over again.  The gasps and the moans and the short little huffs when the fall is building steadily.  The low keen he lets out when he comes and comes and comes.  Slow is the only time Seunghyun gets to see him like that.

 

It’s a tempting offer.  He can see it already, Seungri spread out on his bed, sheets clasped in his fingers, bottom lip in his mouth, teeth bearing down, that hazy look in his eyes when he’s experiencing pure bliss when Seunghyun is forcing that fourth orgasm out of him.

 

Instead, he pulls back and stares up at Seungri, searching his face for a sign.  He’s not sure what he’s looking for.  A sign of doubt maybe?  A little leeway?  A waver in his carefully crafted confidence?  Anything that will help him get what he wants.  What he wants more than anything is for Seungri to have a secure future.  He loves Seungri so much, that’s why he tells him, “I want you to finish school and go to college.”

 

Seungri tenses, inhaling one quick, sharp breath.  “Jiyong-hyung told you.”

 

“It’s funny how you think Jiyong can ever keep a secret.”

 

He sighs.  “I guess that was asking for too much.  I just wanted to be the one to tell you, is all.”

 

“You’re sixteen,” he says, moving the conversation back on track, desperate.  “Seungri, don’t drop out.”

 

“What is there left for me here?” Seungri asks him, imploring rather than challenging.  “You’re done with this place so there isn’t a reason to keep coming back.  All I’ve ever wanted to do is music and school is only getting in the way of that right now.”

 

“I want you to have a backup plan.”

 

Something sad crosses over Seungri’s face.  “No backup plans.  I’m going to be a singer or die trying.”  
  
“Don’t say that.”  The words come out in a hurry, harsher than he wants it to be, but he can’t stand hearing Seungri say things like that.  Being famous, it’s not worth dying over.

 

“We have Jiyong-hyung,” Seungri says, absolute faith in their leader heard loud and clear.  “We’re gonna make it.”

 

He looks again, closer this time, still searching every line and crevice on Seungri’s face for doubt.  He finds nothing.  “Okay,” he says, conceding with a sad smile, knowing he won’t win.  He never does.  “We’re gonna make it.”

 

He doesn’t have a choice.  Anything.  Everything.  He’ll do whatever it takes so that Seungri can stand on the stage he wants.

 

\----

 

Jiyong treats his girlfriend like an asshole and gets dumped.  Rightfully so.  He writes _Lies_ for her but she won’t come back.

 

Overnight the song blows up and takes them along for the ride.

 

\----

 

In the middle of all the hype Tablo of Epik High fame visits during one of their lives.  Seunghyun is wary but the rest of the group is excited.  Jiyong and Seungri even have stars in their eyes.  He brings his daughter, Haru, shy but bright and curious, unable to keep her eyes off of Jiyong, and Youngbae lights up at the sight of her.  While Youngbae and Daesung are distracted, only half listening as they play with Haru, he does his whole spiel about what HIGHGRND is, how their company and label is different from others, how they’re part of YG but not really when Seunghyun brings up the topic of idol life and expectations: working too long hours, too many days straight with no rest and little payment as compensation.  He’ll be damned if he lets Seungri suffer through all that.

 

The first thing Tablo says is, “You’re not going to be idols.  I expect you to write your own songs and help produce them.  You’ll only work as much as you want to work.”  
  
Seunghyun almost asks what the point of signing with HIGHGRND is until his gaze glides over to Seungri and he remembers that Seungri wants this more than anything.  Not just Hongdae and Itaewon.  Seungri wants the world.

 

Half an hour later they have a meeting scheduled the following week to hash out contract terms.

 

\----

 

Right off the bat Jiyong and Seungri become a thing with the fans.  He pretends it doesn’t bother him to watch the two of them play it up, Jiyong pressing his face into the side of Seungri’s neck while he strums away at his guitar, the sound electric and wild, Seungri looking into the camera with heady eyes.

 

He also pretends not to hear how loud and shrill the fangirls get when they do shit like that.  Whatever. What do they know?  All this debate about whether or not Nyongtory is real and whether or not they’re even gay in the first place is stupid.  Jiyong has a girlfriend for fuck’s and Seungri is his.

 

 _His_.

 

Who gives a shit what these fangirls keep fighting about anyhow?

 

Nights when it becomes almost unbearably too much, Seungri lets him suck bruises along the line of his jaw and the juncture of his neck as they fuck, make-up artists be damned, Seunghyun pounding into him, Seungri blindfolded and tied to the bed with silk ties.  Seunghyun is relentless, insatiable as he forces orgasm after orgasm out of him until his voice is hoarse, until Jiyong is glaring at him the next morning because Seungri can’t sing properly.

 

The irony in all this is that not too long after GTOP becomes a thing and he can sense Seungri glaring at Jiyong any time the two of them are within even five feet of each other.  Those nights Seungri rides him torturously slow, fucks himself onto Seunghyun’s dick one slow millimeter at a time, hands hard against his chest to keep him down, still, as he takes what he wants.  When Seunghyun tries to move, tries to thrust right into that tight, fucking heat Seungri backs off, lifts himself off completely and asks him if he’s going to behave.  He nods, begs to be let into Seungri again and the cycle starts all over.

 

“Say it one more time,” he always demands, breath harsh against the shell of Seunghyun’s ear.

 

“I’m yours,” he always chokes out once, twice.  It turns into a chant before Seungri finally takes pity on him and lets him come.

 

Some nights they go online to watch the GTOP and the Nyongtory fandoms go at each other’s throat.  Sometimes Seungri incites it all with little short posts in the right place belittling one of the pairings and claiming the other to be the truth, to be all that is real and holy.  Things implode after that and, popcorn in hand, they giggle amongst themselves until their hearty laughter is echoing in their apartment, Jiyong banging on the wall from his bedroom telling them to shut the hell up, some people are trying to sleep.

 

\----

 

For the comedic disaster that was _Big Bang Virus_ and Seungri in a pink tutu complete with white stockings, hair tied back in half a ponytail or a bun the entire time he’s unnaturally pretty when their Coffee Prince parody comes around with bangs in his eyes and long flowing hair tucked behind one of his ears, overly large sweater dress thrown over his deceptively thin frame.

 

Seunghyun tries to act indifferent, tries to pretend like he’s not turned on but fails the moment Seungri starts acting dainty and cute for the selfie shots with Youngbae.  He gives up and stares openly, feels his chest tighten, breath shortening, and a tingle low in his groin. He clears his throat, shifts, and crosses one leg over the other while Seungri shoots him knowing looks equipped with a smirk.

 

Later that night Seungri pushes him against the back of the couch, long, flowing, wavy hair a curtain separating them from the rest of the world.  Seunghyun’s hands grip the back of bare thighs before sliding up, up, up, taking with them Seungri’s sweater dress until it’s rucked up high on his pelvis.

 

“Oppa,” Seungri says, voice pitched high and breathy in the space between their mouths, the air hot.

 

Seunghyun curses, closes the distance between them, attack Seungri’s mouth with his own, fingers spreading round cheeks open before he forces in one dry finger.  Seungri cries into his mouth, breaks the kiss and moans, “Oppa,” wanton like a whore asking for more.  Seungri likes this, likes when Seunghyun is rough with him, but Seunghyun goes slow, waits for Seungri to adjust to the lone dry finger before he draws it out and pushes it in again.  That night he breaks Seungri one slow finger at a time.  He watches Seungri throw his head back, hair falling behind him as he lets out high, breathy moans.  He watches Seungri driven to the point of crazy, watches Seungri snap, watches Seungri lift off his fingers to search for the lube hidden in the cushions.  He feels Seungri’s deft fingers spread said lube quickly onto his dick before he mounts him, barely prepared hole sinking down onto Seunghyun’s achingly hard cock.  All the air is stolen from his lungs but Seungri doesn’t stop, doesn’t wait for Seunghyun to adjust to hot, tight heat.  His hips snap forward and he rides and rides and rides and rides Seunghyun, taking everything he wants until Seunghyun’s world is nothing but the wet, hot heat of Seungri’s tight ass swallowing him whole and the high breathy moans against his ear.

 

\----

 

Jiyong has a look of horror on his face when his hand comes up from between the cushions with a bottle of lube rather than the tv remote.  His eyes are wide and terrifyingly slow he turns the look of horror towards Seunghyun before dropping the lube.  Then he jumps up and away from the couch as if burned, and then he spins around to face them.

 

“Yah!” He exclaims, pointing an accusatory finger directly at them.  “You two are not allowed to have sex in common areas!  Keep it in the bedroom you kinky bastards!”

 

Youngbae and Daesung, in the kitchen, have the same mortified looks mirrored on their faces before they turn shades of red.

 

Seunghyun tries to keep it in the bedroom thereafter but Seungri ignores all of Jiyong’s threats of bodily harm and castration and well, Seunghyun’s never really been able to deny Seungri anything.

 

\----

 

Even only at eighteen he’d been with his share of people.  Men.  Women.  Experimented with people who identified somewhere in between or nowhere at all when he was half drunk and giggly, brave and willing to try anything.

 

Seungri had never had that.  It’s only ever been him.

 

In the middle of some nights, when Seungri is snoring lightly next to him and he himself cannot sleep, he thinks about it, feels the guilt nibbling at this stomach.  Each time the hole grows bigger and bigger because he sees it sometimes, the way Seungri looks at women.  He’s curious, interest piqued, and it makes Seunghyun’s stomach churn.

 

\----

 

It’s not just the way Seungri looks at women now.  It’s the way they look back.  Seungri has filled out, no longer looks the part of awkward teenager with long, gangly limbs.  Instead he looks like a handsome young man wearing his suit and tie well, confident and charming and so open, friendly, willing to talk to anyone because he loves people.  These women, these idol girls and their managers and their stylists and their dancers, they all flock to Seungri.  They look at him with stars in their eyes and Seungri, Seungri flirts with them.  Probably doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.  He probably thinks nothing of it when they brush their hand along his arm or when he leans in to whisper something in their ears.

 

It feels inevitable now.  In a way.  He’s holding Seungri back.  All he is is Seungri’s first boyfriend and well, what did they always say?   _First relationships aren’t meant to last_.  Maybe it’s time he let go.

 

They have the apartment all to themselves, Daesung who knows where, Youngbae having gone home and Jiyong, well, he’s out probably trying to win Kiko back.

 

Seungri is messing around in the kitchen probably looking for snacks Jiyong has hidden away and Seunghyun takes a moment just to watch Seungri be carefree, realizing that this is probably one of the last times he’ll see Seungri this innocent, this naive and this in love with him.  When he finds the snacks squirreled away in the bottom left cabinet, he holds it up triumphant and turns to Seunghyun with a happy grin.

 

God.  He’s going to miss that.

 

“Hey,” he says.  “You know I love you, right?”

 

Seungri shoots him a look, eyes narrowing with suspicion.  “Yeah.  I love you too, hyung.”

 

A sad smile spreads across his face.  “Let’s talk,” he says, gesturing for Seungri to join him on the couch.

 

Seungri swallows slowly, sets the snacks down on the kitchen table on his trek over to Seunghyun.  “What’s going on?”

 

“Let’s break up.”

 

\----

 

Even at only twenty years old Seungri looks as devastated as Seunghyun feels.  Maybe _because_ he’s only twenty.

 

The first week post breakup is a black hole of too much alcohol and partying in hopes of numbing the pain.  It doesn’t work.  Each night he inevitably ends up on his knees in the bathroom bent over a toilet bowl vomiting the contents of his stomach with Jiyong behind him, patting his back and berating him.  Even when he’s calling Seunghyun a fucking idiot he’s the best friend Seunghyun will ever have.

 

He is a fucking idiot though.  Jiyong isn’t wrong about that.  He drinks because he wants to forget the pain, needs to forget the way Seungri looked the moment they broke up, the moment he realized Seunghyun wasn’t kidding, the way he still looks even now.  Like his life is over.  Like there’s no joy or happiness left because Seunghyun stole it all away when he left.

 

Sometimes he’s weak, his resolve starting to disappear like smoke when he catches these pained looks Seungri keeps throwing him.  They make him want to give in so desperately, but then he remembers the girls, remembers the women, and he remembers why.  The only thing he wants more than Seungri is what’s best for him, and yeah, Seungri might think that it’s him right now, but it really isn’t.  In a week or two he’ll see that.  A pretty girl will smile at him and take his breath away, get his heart beating fast and in the end he’ll thank Seunghyun and Seunghyun will break but he’ll plaster on a smile that won’t reach his eyes and he’ll turn it towards Seungri and ruffle his hair and say, “You’re welcome.”

 

On the surface it might look like he’s having the time of his life, like he’s enjoying the single life after five years attached to someone else, but he’s nowhere near being even remotely okay.  Anyone who knows even a little bit about him can see that clear as day.  He pretends he doesn’t care, and when he catches Seungri leaving an after party with a pretty girl wearing a too short skirt and a too low top, long, black hair a frazzled mess behind her as she leads Seungri out the back way, it sends him spinning, free-falling and spiraling out of control.

 

He ends up a broken mess on the bathroom floor of the club.  He thought he would be okay, thought he was ready for it but he isn’t at all.

 

\----

 

It’s four in the morning and the sky is still a dark, dark blue, dawn approaching still far, far way.  He crawls up to the roof one slow step at a time dressed in the previous night’s clothes, a smoke between his lips, fingers itching to light it in the hallway before he even reaches outside.  He’s sober enough at this point that the inevitable hangover is starting to take over, and he sighs to himself, tells himself he should have just gone to sleep, should have thrown himself down next to Jiyong and pass out so he could deal with the hangover later.  He wanted to do it, he really, really did, but two minutes next to Jiyong and everything about it felt wrong.  Being alone in his own bed felt wrong too, but he’s been trying not to think about that too much.

 

When the door finally swings open he sees a figure sitting on the cold concrete, legs crossed, back to him.  He briefly wonders who it could be but a few more steps and he recognizes the back as Seungri’s.  Funny, he didn’t think Seungri would be back so soon.  That thought sends an ache right through his chest.  He tries his best to put on a smile, thinks he half succeeds at least and that’s good enough for him.  He throws an arm around Seungri, fingers curling around his shoulder as he readies to rib him about the girl from last night but the smile falls off his lips when Seungri turns to face him with lines of tears running down his cheeks.

 

“Hyung,” he says weakly, broken, before he remembers himself and quickly tries wipe the tears away to pretend they never existed in the first place.  He plasters on a smile for Seunghyun’s sake but anger boils hot and deep within him, slowly seeping to the surface with each ticking second.

 

“I’ll kill her,” he promises, dark and menacing, meaning every word.

 

Shock takes over Seungri, his eyes opening wide.  “What?”

 

“That girl from last night.  She hurt you, didn’t she.  I’ll kill her.”

 

Seungri turns away from him then, looks down at his ankles, a low chuckle rumbling from his chest, his shoulders shaking under Seunghyun’s arms.  It sounds hollow and crazy before Seungri hides his face into the palm of his hands.  “The only one who hurt me was you,” he mumbles through his fingers.

 

Seunghyun’s breath catches, his throat closing in on him.  “Seungri,” he chokes out but trails off, unsure of what he wants to say because an apology sounds like it’s not enough either.

 

“You said you wanted me to be free to experience the rest of the stuff out there.  To kiss and love and fuck and hate and ‘whatever the fuck else young people are supposed to experience’ so I did it.  I found a girl and we fucked just like you wanted.”

 

Seungri stops, swallows loudly, words caught in his throat.  Seunghyun feels something shatter inside him, cold seeping into his bones.  He knew.  How could he not fucking know after seeing the two of them leave last night.  But he’s ready now.  Really.  Truly.  “How was it?” He asks, can’t not ask, wants to prove that he’s okay with Seungri moving on.

 

“Fucking fantastic,” Seungri replies without pause but it sounds pained, far off, like he’s not really there with Seunghyun at all.  “It was fucking fantastic because sex is never not but all I wanted to do afterwards was cry.  I couldn’t get out of there fast enough because she wasn’t you and it all felt wrong.  I felt like I didn’t just betray you but I betrayed myself and you made me feel like I had no other choice.  Like I had to be with other people.  You told me that after all the other people if I still wanted to be with you we’ll talk then because I’m ‘so fucking young and only twenty’ and that I don’t know what I want because I haven’t experienced anything at all so I couldn’t possibly know that I won’t regret settling with you.

 

“So I came up here to this goddamn roof trying to figure it out and all I keep thinking is that’s so fucking stupid.  There’s no settling here.  I’m not settling with or for you.  I’ve always wanted just _you_.  No one else.  We can play this game all you want.  Five years from now, ten years from now.  Twenty years.  I’ll still want to be with you.  I’ll never stop.  The only thing I’m going to regret is wasting all my time with other people when I’ve always known it was you.  It’s always going to be you.  I may only be twenty but I know, okay?  Seunghyun, I _know_.”

 

Somewhere in the middle of all that Seungri had raised his head so their eyes could meet. Seungri holds on, keeps the connection, face expressive with all the pain and heartache and longing, eyes pleading with him.  Those last words -- Seunghyun, I _know_ \-- were said with so much conviction, not a single drop of doubt found anywhere.

 

Everything falls away.  His resolve.  His reasoning.  His desire to do “right” by Seungri.  It all really does sound so stupid now.  He’s known Seungri was it for him that first date when Seungri had tugged him into the backseat of the car he had borrowed.  And yeah, maybe he had more experience with other people but maybe that didn’t really mean anything at all.

 

He draws in a sharp breath, hand instinctively moving from Seungri’s shoulder to curl onto the back of his head, fingers tangled in hair as he pulls Seungri in until their lips meet again, until he’s opening Seungri’s mouth with his tongue and Seungri lets out something like a sob against him.  Seunghyun kisses him and kisses him and kisses him until their lips hurt, until well after that to because it’s been ten days.  Ten fucking days -- two hundred and fifty something hours -- where he’d been so fucking stupid and breaking Seungri’s heart and making him sad and letting him cry all alone in his room.  Seunghyun keeps kissing in apology for all his mistakes, for all the ones he’s going to make, and Seungri kisses him back, holds on, fingers digging into his back like he’s afraid Seunghyun will slip away again.  God, he’s so sorry for that.  Can never apologize enough but he’s going to spend every day that follows trying to fix that.

 

When they finally break apart, there are still tears in Seungri’s eyes and a frown on his mouth and something terrible twists in Seunghyun’s stomach.  Before he can open his mouth to say anything, Seungri swats at him, proclaims lowly, “I hate you.  Hyung, I hate you so much,” before burying his face into the nook of Seunghyun’s neck.

 

Seunghyun plays with the hair at the back of Seungri’s neck, keeps silent, but finally a smile spreads across his face, soft and gentle, barely curl of his lips.  “I know,” he says in reply.  “I love you.”

 

Seungri sniffles. “Don’t leave me again.”

 

“Can’t even fathom it.”

 

He squeezes Seungri’s shoulder and Seungri snakes his arms around Seunghyun’s waist, hands fisting his shirt.  They watch the sun rise slowly, bright yellow a new beginning to a new day.  When he looks down, Seungri is sleeping but for the first time since their break-up, Seungri finally looks like he’s at peace.  He kisses Seungri’s forehead before he turns back to watch the sunrise.

 

\----

 

It’s their first time this way.  Seunghyun is on his hands and knees, head hanging between his shoulders.  Seungri is kneeling behind him, head on his back as he pushes into Seunghyun slowly, a low groan emanating from deep in his chest as he enters inch by inch.  Seunghyun bites back his moan, feels the slight twinge of pain burn as he’s stretched open but soon enough Seungri bottoms out, his thighs flat against Seunghyun’s ass.  He keeps himself still, waits for Seunghyun to be ready, and when he turns back and gives Seungri a quick, reassuring smile, if a little tense, Seungri pulls out a little, testing, before pushing in again.  That first thrust is slow and careful, gentle.  It tears him apart.  And then again.  This time Seungri pulls out until only the head of his cock is left inside, and then one long slide back in that has him biting back another moan.  It continues that way, slow and gentle, building him up until he’s antsy, until he can’t take it anymore, until he’s ready to beg

 

“More,” he says, voice broken.  “ _Please_.”

 

“Shit,” Seungri hisses out, hip stuttering, and then he starts to really fuck Seunghyun, pounding into him one powerful thrust at a time, hips rocking into him faster and faster and faster until Seunghyun can’t think at all anymore.  He thinks it can’t get any better than this and then one well-aimed thrust has Seungri hitting his prostate and he’s seeing stars.  Fucking Christ.  He can’t.  He’s trying to find purchase on the bed, sheets tight in his fists, forehead in the crook of one elbow.  He’s gasping, crying out loud, hears the slap of skin against skin.  Seungri’s head falls onto the back of his neck, bursts of hot breath tingling his skin.

 

“Hyung,” he chokes out.  “You’re so fucking tight.  How are you so hot and tight and so fucking perfect?”

 

A laugh rumbles out of him, short little bursts in perfect sync with Seungri’s thrusts.   He’s surprised he can focus on anything else much less understand or form coherent sentences of his own.  “‘Cause you’re my first,” he says, low and breathy.

 

“Fuck.”  Seungri whines behind him, loud and stretched out, sounds like he might actually be dying but Seunghyun can’t laugh at him even if he wants to because that one sentence changes something in Seungri, pushes him over the edge.  He nails Seunghyun to the bed with his hips, pushes a knee up and pounds into him thrust after thrust, striking his prostate over and over again until he’s nothing but a screaming, hot mess seeing white.

 

\----

 

Jiyong punches him in the morning when he sits down at the table for breakfast.  He doesn’t hold back, does a full swing and connects hard where Seunghyun’s upper arm meets his shoulder.

 

“Hey!” He protests, rubbing the spot.  “What the hell was that for?”

 

Jiyong glares at him, dark circles rimming his eyes.  “Trust me when I say we’re all very happy you two are back together -- no one more so than I -- but some of us would like to sleep at night.”

 

His eyes flick to Youngbae and Daesung, see the tiredness rimming their eyes and the warm smiles on their lips, and feels a little guilty.  Seungri finally joins them at the table too, towel on his head as he dries his hair.

 

“What’s up?” He asks innocently.

 

“Nothing,” Youngbae says and Daesung hums along in agreement.

 

Jiyong throws on a wicked smile and hops up, tugs Seungri down and starts teasing him and calling him cute and touching him and trying to kiss his cheek and Seunghyun knows Jiyong’s just trying to rile him up for a little revenge.  He’d like to say it’s not working on him but it is.  God damn it.  Jiyong is the worst friend.  The actual worst.  When he said Jiyong was the best friend he could and will ever have?  Complete and utter bullshit.

 

Seungri, held in a headlock by Jiyong, shoots him a smile and suddenly everything is okay.  He feels unconquerable.

 

\----

 

He’s standing in the middle of his newly acquired condo, arms wide open, a silly grin on his face after asking Seungri, “What do you think?” only to be answered with silence.  The grin starts to fall off his face, his arms following right behind it.  He clears his throat, stomach in knots as he waits for a response.

 

Seungri’s brows furrow together, his expression tight as he does another slow spin.  “What is this?”

 

“I bought it,” he says in reply, eager to please Seungri.

 

“You… bought it.”  Seungri sounds unimpressed.  A little upset even.

 

This isn’t the response he thought he would get.  He thought Seungri would be ecstatic but instead all he’s done is upset Seungri.  “I thought you would like it,” he says, genuinely confused.

 

Seungri hardens, takes a deep breath, plasters on a smile for him and says, “I hope you enjoy your new home without us,” and then turns around to leave.

 

“Hey!” He exclaims, chasing after Seungri before he can get to the door.  He snags an arm and Seungri stops where he’s at.  “What’s wrong?  You can’t just say that and leave.  If you don’t like the place, fine.  The paperwork hasn’t gone through yet.  I can find a new place.”

 

Seungri won’t face him.  Instead he keeps his head down.  “Maybe because we just got back together and I’m still a bit raw from that, but if you wanted to move out, you should have told me so I could have gotten used to the idea of living in a place without you.  You kind of just sprung this on me and expected me to be happy about not living together anymore.”

 

The tension in his chest relaxes, a wave of relief washing over him.  He lets go of Seungri’s arm, stuffs his hands into the pockets of jeans.  He didn’t think he’d have to officially ask, kind of just took it as a given so now that he has to he’s feeling a bit shy.  “I’d been thinking that maybe we needed a place of our own.  So if you wanted to, I mean, this could be our place.  You know, you and me.  No members.”

 

Seungri’s head snaps up, looks at Seunghyun with wide eyes, shocked, and when what Seunghyun is saying finally sinks in he breaks out into a happy grin, eyes lighting up with excitement.  “Really?”

 

Seunghyun shrugs, tries to play it cool.  “Yeah.”

 

Seungri grabs his hand, laces their fingers together and drags him through the entire condo as he bounces from room to room, scrutinizing every piece until they’re back in the living room.  He looks up at Seunghyun practically on the tips of his toes and gushes out, “It’s perfect.”

 

\----

 

Jiyong has a weird look in his eyes when Seungri and Seunghyun say their goodbyes, the last of their stuff slung over their shoulders.  If he didn’t know any better, Seunghyun would have thought he looked fond almost.  Like a father watching their kids grow up.

 

“What’s up?” He asks, curious.

 

Jiyong shakes his head once.  “Congrats,” he says with a light punch to Seunghyun’s arm.  “When we were teenagers I never thought you’d be the first to settle down.”

 

Seunghyun chuckles at that and throws an arm around his shoulder, turns them so they’re watching Youngbae tease Seungri.  “Remember when Seungri and I first got together and you sulked for days?  You swore I was going to fuck everything up.”

 

Jiyong shrugs under him.  “You had a reputation.  What was I supposed to do?  Happily let you corrupt sweet, innocent, naive Seungri?”

 

Their eyes lock and he sees Jiyong try to keep a straight face.  The next second they’re bursting with laughter.  Seungri sweet and innocent and naive at fifteen.  Right.  He ruffles Jiyong’s hair and Jiyong swats his hand away, takes a step so he’s out of Seunghyun’s reach and then he turns serious.

 

“I’m glad you were a shit friend and ignored my no dating Seungri request.”

 

Request.  Hah.  More like demand.  But he smiles anyway, let’s it go, shrugs his shoulders.  “I’m glad I was a shit friend too.”

 

They turn back and continue to watch Youngbae tease Seungri by crowding into his space and locking an arm around his neck, Daesung laughing at the both of them and egging Youngbae on much to the protest of Seungri.

 

\----

 

Their condo comes completely unfurnished which is probably what he loves about it the most because he wants to create a space that’s just theirs.  The first thing they buy is a bed, this monstrosity of a king-sized thing filled with all the space they’ll never use because Seungri is a clinger.

 

The rest of the condo takes longer to fill because Seungri has shit taste in art and furniture but Seunghyun won’t buy anything unless they agree together.

 

In the end Seungri probably got fed up and started agreeing to anything and everything Seunghyun put in front of him because he missed sitting on a couch to watch his dramas and he wanted to eat at a table during meals instead of cold tile floor.  It’s okay though because Seunghyun has amazing taste in art and furniture.

 

\----

 

During an MC session at one of their Japanese concerts Youngbae asks Seungri what his dream is and Seungri’s answer is he wants to be a dad.  That answer hits him harder than it should.  It stays with him the rest of the night and into the next morning.  Seungri senses something wrong and corners him in the shower.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

He shrugs.  “I can’t give you kids.”

 

There’s a sad look in his eyes he tries to hide the instant it pops up but Seunghyun sees.  He always sees.  The way Seungri is with kids is amazing.  They love him and he loves them back, and he swears Seungri almost melted when Seunghyun’s two-year-old nephew had called him uncle.

 

Seungri puts on a brave smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes.  “I know.”

 

He pushes on.  “I haven’t ever thought about kids.  I’m not sure if I want any.”

 

It’s Seungri’s turn to shrug.  “I’m only twenty-five and you’re twenty-eight.  I think we’re too young to think about that right now.  I like us.  I like the life that we have now and I don’t want that to change any time soon.”

 

He doesn’t know what to say after that.  He doesn’t want to get Seungri’s hopes up but he doesn’t want to kill them either.  Truth is he hasn’t really thought about what he wants in his future other than Seungri so he keeps his mouth shut, slides his fingers into Seungri’s wet hair and works up a lather with the shampoo.  Seungri closes his eyes and leans into him.

 

\----

 

Seunghyun’s two-year-old nephew wraps his tiny arms around Seungri’s neck when Seungri picks him up, says, “Uncle, I love you,” and Seungri is gone.  He holds the little boy tight, and he says in return, “I love you, too, little guy.”  Seunghyun’s heart breaks a little.

 

In the middle of the night, after staring up at the ceiling for hours thinking, he shakes Seungri awake.  Seungri grumbles at first before sighing, eyes barely able to open, and asks him what was wrong.

 

“We can adopt.  Or have a surrogate.  Whichever you want.  I’m fine with either.”

 

Seungri throws an arm over his eyes, lets out a low rumble of a chuckle.  “That’s what you wake me up in the middle of the night for?”  Seungri takes him by surprise when he rolls over, throws his arm around Seunghyun’s waist.  “Go to sleep,” he murmurs.  “We can talk about it tomorrow.”

 

“Are we okay?” He asks, suddenly worried.

 

“Are you planning on breaking up with me again?” Seungri shoots back.  He says it lightly, like he’s joking but Seunghyun knows.  Five years later and Seungri still holds onto that.  Seunghyun knows he thinks about it sometimes when he’s feeling vulnerable, that he gets scared Seunghyun will try to leave him again.  He must have been really worried, Seunghyun thinks.  All this talk about kids and their future and the thought that maybe they want different things must have really scared him.

 

“Never,” he says gently, laying a kiss on Seungri’s forehead, squeezing a shoulder and holding him tight in hopes of abating the fear of him someday leaving.

 

Seungri burrows into him, warm and content.  “Then we’ll always be okay.”

 

“Love you,” he murmurs.

 

Seungri whines.  “Hyung, sleep.”

 

\----

 

“We might have to live outside Korea.  America, maybe.”

 

“Mmmm…”

 

“Or England.”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“Maybe France?  Paris would be good.”

 

“Hyung.  I’d follow you anywhere.”

 

\----

 

The band had always said they’d keep going as long as they felt confident, that they would always try to reinvent themselves and work as hard as they could to stay on top but once they started feeling bogged down or started to look shabby then they would stop.  Better to end on a high note rather than after the sun had set, after they had become old men trying to keep up with the new generation of kids crowding into the music scene.

 

\----

 

As far as epiphanies go it was very anti-climatic.  No big “aha!” moment.  The day had been quite ordinary really.  Both him and Jiyong were in the studio messing around on the computer and Jiyong’s guitar waiting for inspiration to strike them with a progression of chords or a melody.  He’d been spinning around in his chair, staring at the ceiling, asking himself what he was doing, and that was when he knew.

 

He lolled his head onto its side so he could face Jiyong and, so casually he might as well have said the sun rises in the east, told his friend, “Jiyong, I think this is it for me.”

 

Jiyong looked back at him, caught by surprise for one single moment, and then he nodded.  “You know what, Top-hyung?  I was starting to think the same thing.”

 

He cocked his head at Jiyong, but Jiyong shrugged in return.  “I’ve been thinking lately that it’s time.”

 

“One last hurrah?” he asked.

 

Jiyong grinned at him.  “Why not?  Let’s show these new kids how it’s really done.”

 

\----

 

Just because he’s ready doesn’t mean he’s not sad to see it all end.  It’s their last concert.  It’s their last concert _ever._  Twenty years ago he never thought the day would come when he’d want to stop doing all of this.  He never thought he’d ever want to stop playing on different stages around the world.  China.  Japan.  Brazil.  That one time in the UK.  Mexico.  All the places and all the countries they’ve gone to over the years it’s only fitting that they end where they start.  Seoul, Korea.  The fans who’d been there for them from the very beginning, the ones who loved them when they were small and underground, barely able to make a living playing from one small venue to another, they deserve to have the final show.  They were teenagers back then, young women who held up signs that read, “Seungri you’re the best!” or “GD” or “Seunghyun-oppa I love you~!”  Now they’ve all turned into mature, beautiful married women with kids of their own and yeah, maybe everyone’s crying, the band included, during their final encore because even though he’s been ready for the better part of a year it’s still sad.  A large chapter of their life is closing.

 

When he was younger he thought he could do this forever, that he’d never want anything beyond Seungri and his fans and a stage to play his music on.  Now that he’s inching closer and closer to forty the music scene makes him feel worn down, tired and he’s ready to try something new.  He could probably make a go of it as a poet.  Or a writer.  The most exciting thing about his life post rockstar is that in a month he’ll finally have his little baby girl.  It feels like he’s been waiting so long for her to wrap her tiny hands around his fingers again that he’s itching to just go to her already instead of wait for her to come to him.  To _them._  He’s only held her once but he loves her so much already, has promised to give her the world.

 

Even if he hadn’t wanted to stop there’s no way he can have her and this life because this is still Korea.  The Korea where loving someone of the same gender gets you ostracized, possibly thrown in jail, excluded and isolated and whispered about and that he could probably have lived with but he would have never been allowed to have his daughter either and that’s the one thing he can’t give up now.  Well, one of the two things.  He’s given twenty years of his life to his music and his band and his fans and now he just wants to spend the next twenty years being selfish.

 

He wants to be able to hold Seungri’s hand in public.  He wants to go on dates and kiss Seungri whenever he wants, open air and broad daylight be damned.  He wants to marry Seungri, too, even if it’s just a stupid piece of paper.

 

He wants to stay up too late rocking his little girl to sleep because she’s not feeling well and wants his touch.  He wants to laugh and cry with her.  He wants to take her to dance lessons and school and he wants to play with her at the park and push her on swings and scare away all the boys interested in her because they’ll never be good enough for his little girl.  He wants to wipe away her tears and take care of scraped knees and tie her shoelaces for her because she hasn’t learned how to yet.  He wants to watch her grow up and wish that she never would.  He wants to walk her down the aisle and cry when he has to give her away even as he promises himself and her that she’ll always have him.

 

Saying goodbye to this chapter of his life is hard.  Bittersweet.  It brings tears to his eyes.  But what’s waiting for him beyond this means so much more.

 

\----

 

He’s nearing forty but Seungri has him feeling like he’s eighteen again.  He’s loose and giggly from their afterparty -- the last one ever -- with all the free booze flowing from bottle after bottle.  The most intoxicating thing of the night had been Seungri though.  Correction: the most intoxicating thing in his life has always been Seungri, right from the get go when he walked into that party with Jiyong at his side.

 

Seungri sets his blood on fire and makes his body sing with sweet kisses, barely there rushes of his lips scraping against Seunghyun’s cheek when he pulls Seunghyun in for a hug, or the way his hand rests on the small of Seunghyun’s back when they’re standing side by side or the way, behind everyone’s back, he runs a nail along the lines of Seunghyun’s palm.  When Seungri tugs him outside, drags him away from all the people and towards their car he doesn’t fight it.  Doesn’t even question why they’re leaving so early.

 

His heart races like it always does when Seungri pushes him up against the side of their car, fingers twined together when he leans in to catch Seunghyun’s mouth in a kiss.  He breaks away long enough to breathe, “You’ve been driving me crazy all night,” along his jaw before he dives back in, leaving no space for Seunghyun to say or do anything except laugh into Seungri’s mouth.  Seungri nips at his bottom lip, asks for a permission with his tongue and thrusts his tongue in without hesitation when Seunghyun grants it.  Seungri pulls back, knows that Seunghyun will follow, and then he’s being ushered into the back seat of their car, Seungri pulling him in by the collar of his jacket.  Just like old times, he thinks as he grins and shuts the door behind him.

 

He presses Seungri flat into the seats, their legs tangled and awkward, his own a bit too long but they make it work.  He unbuttons Seungri’s shirt slowly, one button at a time.  He hears Seungri’s breath hitch as he kisses down, Seungri’s fingers threading in his hair, his stomach fluttering when he kisses Seungri’s navel.  He stops, looks up, and sees Seungri looking down at him, a soft curve to his lips.  He offers Seungri a smile of his own and one of Seungri’s hand slides down to cup a cheek.

 

“Remember when we first met?”  Seungri asks him, the corner of his eyes crinkling.

 

Seunghyun leans into his palm, eyes sliding shut as he takes in the warmth of that hand.  “Hands down, best day I can ever remember.”

 

A thumb brushes along his cheekbone.  “I wanted you so much,” Seungri says.  “From the moment I laid eyes on you I never wanted anyone else.  Five years.  Ten.  Twenty.  The only person I’ve ever wanted was you.  Five years from now.  Ten.  Twenty.  And the twenty after that, I’ll only ever want you.”

 

He crawls back up the length of Seungri’s body quick as possible then he captures Seungri’s mouth in kiss.  He kisses him and kisses him and kisses him until they’re both breathless, until it feels like his chest might explode if he doesn’t stop.  Between their bodies his hands work to undo Seungri’s belt.  They slide Seungri’s zipper down and tug his pants off, a feat in and of itself in the tight space but he needs Seungri so much.  He works one finger in first, slow, careful.  Then two, three, in and out, in and out until he’s sure Seungri is ready.  Rough and pain is for another night.  Tonight he wants gentle and loving and he wants to hold Seungri close and cherish him.  When Seungri’s eyes are rolling into the back of his eyes, when his legs are spread wide open, and he’s rambling about being ready, when he’s softly begging, “Hyung.   _Seunghyun-ah_ , please.  Please.  I need you in me,” Seunghyun finally relents.  He pulls his fingers out, takes his time doing so, and then he lines himself up and pushes in agonizingly slow.  Seungri thrashes underneath him, beautiful, guttural moan escaping from deep in his chest, hands clenching and unclenching in the air with nothing to hold on to.  Seunghyun draws himself out, rolls right back in over and over and over, driving the both of them to the brink only to back off and do it again and again and again.  Finally, _finally_ , after the windows have fogged and sweat is sliding down their bodies, he lets them come.  Seungri shoots between them, coats his abs and Seunghyun’s white shirt with his cum, mouth slack and wide open in a silent scream, muscles taut and tight, and Seunghyun groans into the crook of Seungri’s neck as his hips stutter erratically while he empties himself inside Seungri.

 

After he catches his breath he lifts himself up, keeps most of his weight on his elbow so that he doesn’t crush Seungri underneath him.  Seungri.  Beautiful, gorgeous Seungri still has his eyes closed, a soft smile on his lips and Seunghyun’s heart swells with love and affection.  Sometimes he gets like this.  Sentimental.  He brushes a curl away from Seungri’s forehead, tucks a tuft of hair behind his ear, eyes softening.  “I never tell you enough how much I love you.”

 

Seungri’s smile widens but there’s something there in the lines of his face, something like love and pain and anguish, sweet and tender and fragile all intertwined into the curve of his cheek, the furrow of his brow, the line of his jaw.  “Say it one more time.”

 

He leans down, keeps their bodies flush together, forehead to forehead.  Lips so close together he can feel the hot puffs of air as their breaths mingled, he promises.

 

_I’m yours._

 

\----

**Author's Note:**

> So yes. There you go. Domestic!Topri. I didn't realize until waaaaaay _after_ I had finished the fic and editing it that this was a Domestic!TopRi fic and I don't know how that went right over me. There's so much fluff in this. ~~And smut too. I'm kind of ashamed of the smut =X~~ This whole thing is basically slow burn fluff, I'd say LOL.
> 
> Anyhow, as always, comments and kudos are welcomed and very much appreciated.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading =)


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